Kosanostra Koyak Rabak

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good,good moring?
Saturday, 21 August 2010 @ 20:47

Good morning,
What’s so good about it?
The sun harshly shines
through my tattered blinds
and stabs its rays in my eyes!
The birds aren’t singing-
They’re freaking screeching,
while a bunch of kids are shouting on the pavement.
It’s only ten in the morning,
but I already feel like I’ve had
to listen to the technical difficulties test
at me
for freaking hours on end.

“Rough night?”



Shots of caffeine kept me awake
as I tried to sit down and write a poem
about the experiences I had
with you.
I tried and tried to find the words
to describe the petal-like texture
of your lips,
and the comfortable feeling
in your fingertips,
and how kissing you felt so wonderful,
I didn’t want to stop...
I never want to stop.

You kept me awake-

And as I’m lying in my bed with this angry feeling,
I turn and rest my hand on the spot where you were once laying,
and I frown,
because I know you left without saying,
They say you shouldn’t think you’ll marry
the first man you say ‘forever’ to.
But I really thought that
I’d break that stereotype
with you.
Guess I can’t ever be right,
and I got lost in your beautiful eyes
that glistened in the New York streetlights.
And I guess my mom of all people was right-
When she said I’m too hopeful.

And I trace my lips with my fingers,
thinking back those nights we spent together-
Holding each other-
Calling you my lover-
Telling you that I won’t need another,
so long as you stay...

But you didn’t.

And I shouldn’t blame you.
Mom’s always right- I shouldn’t think it’s your fault...
It’s not your fault-
That when you walked out the door that one morning,
you didn’t come back.
It’s not your fault-
That the man in the blue car
speeding towards the intersection
had not a single intention
of stopping...

It’s not your fault he had been drinking.

It’s not your fault-
That I cried myself to sleep for so long,
asking God why you were gone,
because I was so sure His taking you away was just wrong,
because He doesn’t need you
as much as I do.

"good morning?"

At least...That’s what I feel.
And it’s not your fault-
That I’m angry when I walk-
Angry when I talk-
Angry when I tell people to just screw off,
because I’m not in the mood for them
-I’ll never be in the mood for them-
So long as you’re gone.
And from now on-
I wake up after a painful night,
hoping I’ll see your beautiful eyes,
but instead I find,
this emptiness inside,
so I’ll go back to my previous question:
What’s so ‘good’ about this morning?